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Let's talk about the text message pictured here. This past Friday night I went on a first date with a guy I met on one of the 4,567 dating sites that have taken over the world of love. I ran a few minutes behind because in Google maps I forgot to select walking directions instead of driving directions, and so I was taken in circles down one way streets for about 10 minutes. That was a special moment for me.
Moving on, we met at a bar in the West Village and within 30 seconds of speaking to this Dodo (who actually went to Harvard, go figure), I knew instantly a second date was not in the books. But he was nice and not terribly bad looking - and I'm trying to be open-minded - so I carried on. We grabbed a drink and sat down. He talked for a while about pizza, swearing up and down that he knew secret pizza spots in the city no one knew about. UMMM YAH - YOU AND EVERY OTHER MONKEY THAT WALKS THIS TOWN. LOCK IT UP. Obviously, I smiled and nodded. I engaged in the pizza conversation and made sure to appear excited. I was ammused, if anything. Not to mention, as soon as he promised to buy me a slice later, I looked past his stupidity. We ended up having a second drink and then relocated to another bar which turned out to be lame. While having one drink at the lame bar - I remembered a fun party happening that same night. My friends had mentioned it to me earlier in the day. I suggested to my date that we go check it out, he agreed and input the address to the party into his phone. I took a look at the map on his phone, saw that the party was located at a pub nowhere near our then current location and suggested we grab a cab because it seemed a bit far to walk. He insisted it was not too far. CLEARLY IT WAS BECAUSE I HAVE EYES AND CAN SEE THE MAP. I didn't want to be an ass tho, so we walked...and walked...and walked...and I was annoyed. Don't get me wrong - I love walking this city - and I was wearing comfortable wedges - but there was no reason to walk to this place. It was 25 blocks from us. We finally arrived at the bar and the party was a flop. Welp. I had enough and was ready to call it a night. He hailed a cab for me and opened the door - I climbed in and turned my head toward him standing outside the car to say thank you and then it happend. He closed the door before I said a word and gave me the middle finger!!
I honestly cannot explain why this happened. My mouth dropped. The window was open so I shouted "Hey, that wasn't very nice!" And then the cab driver drove off. Honestly - I was a perfectly awesome date, as always. I'm polite, interested/intersting, energetic...maybe it was becuase I was late?
In the taxi I thought to myself "Am I certain he was flicking ME off? Maybe an angry cab driver honked at us and I didn't hear it?" No. I was 99% certain he stuck his middle finger up at me. Was he aware that I saw him do it? (Text above confirms, yes, he was aware). I of course began laughing to myself and then called my friends to go have more drinks.
In the taxi I thought to myself "Am I certain he was flicking ME off? Maybe an angry cab driver honked at us and I didn't hear it?" No. I was 99% certain he stuck his middle finger up at me. Was he aware that I saw him do it? (Text above confirms, yes, he was aware). I of course began laughing to myself and then called my friends to go have more drinks.
The next morning at 10 AM (seriously, wtf?) I received a text message from this jackass that said "We really should have taken a cab to that party." UMMMM...WHY? JUST, WHY? SO MANY WHY'S!! Why are you texting me after you made it clear you don't like me? Why are you texting me at 10 AM on a Saturday? Why are you NOW deciding we should have taken a cab? Why would anyone think you're a real human? Why is it illegal for me to come to your home and take a bat to your knees? WHYYY?! Anyway, I did not respond. Then at 1:30 PM while jogging downtown, I received a phone call from him. How typical. The guys you never want to hear from are ALWAYS the guys you hear from. Again, I ignore.
At 5: 22 PM I receive another text from Middle Finger Man apologizing for never buying me a slice of pizza. HONESTLY - DO YOU HAVE SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME, SIR? I decided it was time to shut down this clown. Usually, I'll do this immediately upon discovering someone I never want to see again, wants to see me again. But this was so bizarre I couldn't wrap my head around why he continued reaching out to me! I mean, he gave me the international "fuck-you" gesture.
So much confusion for me. So much.
So much confusion for me. So much.
I replied to his pizza apology letting him this was not going to work out. And his response was "Fair enough. Can't believe I gave you the finger last night...geez" with an embarrassed face emoticon. Thankfully, I never heard from him again.
Friends - welcome to dating in New York. Men wine and dine you all night - appear to be having a great time - and then - flip you the bird. There are a lot of unstable people in this city and for one reason or another - I seem to be going on dates with 10% of them.
Ladies bware - he is still out there!
Men - next!