26 Questions Forever on a New Yorker's Mind
- Who
has Dan ACTUALLY taught to play guitar? I need names.
- If my phone fell in the subway track with no train in sight, would I jump down and grab it?
- Where the hell do all these people live?
- Why do homeless people
wear garbage bags in the summer?
- If I had to use my
fire escape, would I know how to find my way to the street once I got down or
would I be trapped behind my building somewhere?
- Why do all the new
Duane Reade stores have the Exit and Entrance doors on the wrong side?
- How do ALL those NYC
souvenir stores stay in business?
- Why doesn't anyone know how to walk?
- Do other people feel they are winning when they cross the street in two directions without
having to stop because they made it across when one light was red? Score!
- Do other people wish they had a BB gun with to take take out pigeons?
- Ballpark, how fat
would I get if everyday I only ate $1.00 pizza for lunch and dinner?
- If my subway train was stuck underground for a very long while - would I share this bottle of water with other people?
- Does anyone else think about this? "If I had to choose one person on this subway car to sleep with, I would first narrow down my choices by finding out who does not have an STD."
- Did Julianne Moore just walk by me?
- At Laundromat: Is anyone looking at my bras and underwear? How much do I care?
- What is that suffocating gust of meaty scented air constantly blowing out of the Food Emporium every morning?
- How sick would I get if I licked the ground in Times Square?
- Why am I in Times Square?
- How is that senior citizen STILL living here?
- Should I no longer be winded after walking up the same 4 flights of stairs for 6 years
- Where did that girl get those pants?
- Rain? Or AC?
- Is that Law and Order being filmed?
- How much longer will I tolerate this quality of life?
- Why are there SO many steps at the Duane Reade credit card machine when checking out?
- Type in phone number to get points
- Hit Enter
- Swipe or tap card
- Credit or debit? ("Um excuse me sir, do I select the X or press Enter for credit?")
- Do you approve this amount? YES OF COURSE I APPROVE THIS AMOUNT! I JUST SWIPED MY CARD!
- Sign ( for anything over $25)
- Have thought: "So many people have touched this screen - remember to wash hands before putting them in mouth, eyes or near face"
- And Finally: WHAT is that smell?
