It's time to discuss taking a crap at work. Why? Because I was blessed with an overactive colon, I am a frequent restroomer and more often than not, a frequent dash-to-the-restroomer. Because I have earned my frequent bathroom miles, I now sit first class. As an experienced restroomer, I'd like to tell you about the different types of people that come and go from the bathroom and hopefully teach a thing or two on respecting fellow coworkers when going number two in a place of employment. The Line Cutter
The Line Cutter is your coworker who not only takes a dump in a perfunctory manner with no regard for others in the restroom, but has the nerve to do it after someone else was in there first handling their own business.
Dear Line Cutter, if you see someone else is in the bathroom when you enter and notice they don't get up and leave, you should assume they are trying to take a doodie in peace and then kindly exit.
Line Cutter, not all people can take a dump with someone else in the room. Many people will have to clench up upon hearing you open the door. When you sit down to take care of your business, the person who was already there might have to pause while you go first.
This is not fair.
What's worse Line Cutter, is that you are forcing the other person to hear you dropping the kids off at school. That other person will have to sit and marinate in your stink after you leave.
If you are reading this and thinking "Oh I'm a total Line Cutter" - then consider yourself lucky but please find it in your heart to have some mutual respect because your shit DOES stink. So end the madness or karma will get you!
Next time I'll discuss the Shoe Checker.